A Perfect Mother's Day Gift, for New Dads
A simple gift to repeat each year. Bookmark this for next year. Send to a new dad friend. Trust me.
I hope you’re wrapping up a nice Mother’s Day. I got to celebrate my mom and mother-in-law yesterday, and my wife today, who is a great mother of three. I know Mother’s (and Father’s) Days are sometimes complex for people, so I hope you have peace with however and whoever you celebrate. And if nothing else, we can all enjoy Maya Rudolph’s SNL “Mother” monologue from last night. Wow.
Here’s a little story for all the fellas.
Especially new dads, or anyone who’d like to celebrate a mom in their life.
On his podcast Working it Out, comedian Mike Birbiglia asks his guests a few deep questions.
A favorite of mine is “What is one piece of advice you’ve actually taken?”
When I eventually go on his podcast for real (vs the time I pretended!), I’ll answer it this way:
In anticipation of my wife’s first Mother’s Day, my longtime friend and business partner Alan Beard gave me this advice: Make a photobook of the past year’s photos. And make it an annual tradition.
And I’ve done just that.
I just gifted my 14th book.
Not only is each year’s book a wonderful gift, but we also bring out all the old books and look at those, which is always special.
Now, I feel you judging me.
This feels like a big dad-flex. The humblest of humblebrags. A bad Pinterest post.
But I offer this idea to you earnestly, as it was offered to me.
This is a great idea for new dads (or dads in general).
I’m not normally like this. We are not Pinterest-trendy people. We don’t do it for the ‘Gram.
But I do two things each year that make this annual Mother’s Day gift special — and easy to replicate without breaking the bank.
One annual photo per kid
First, we take an annual “blanket photo” for each kid around their birthday.
When our first was born, our photographer took a photo against this beautiful blue blanket, and just kept going, and copied it for the next two kids.
You’ll note that these photos aren’t perfectly identical or color-matched. But I can fix that later if I want.
I hope this takes the pressure off you.
Favorite Photos
Second, I make a point of Favoriting photos throughout the year.
Especially for the big events of life. Birthdays, holidays, school performances, vacations.
This seems simple, and it is. Just Favorite some photos consistently, on your phone, consistently throughout the year. This is the most important part and saves me DOZENS of hours.
Do I miss a few photos each year? Yes. But this isn’t about a complete documentation of the year. At its best, this book is a collection of moments and memories, big and small. Turns out, it’s the small moments that matter most. The inside jokes.
Choose a book format
In early April, I collect all my Favorited photos and the favorites from my wife’s phone (sneaky sneaky), which ends up being around 900 photos. (this has grown each year)
I make a 8x11 standard-size book on Shutterfly. Their online software makes it easy to choose and arrange the photos you want. The final book ends up with 400-500 photos in it.
Here’s the crazy thing. I order this book every year around April 28. But like magic, a mailer hits my home address around April 25 offering me a 50% discount on photobooks.
You can find a similar code online. I order a 70-80-page book for about $100 total, each year.
Dollar for dollar, this is an incredible value.
There are more benefits to ordering with Shutterfly: if I lose any of these books, I can re-order the old books very easily. They save all the photos.
Sorry so late
I know this is late for any new dads out there. I’m literally sending it on Mother’s Day.
But I didn’t want to share it too early because my wife is on this email list and I didn’t want to tip her off that I hadn’t forgotten. I always try to make her think I’ve fogotten because my love language is “head games.”
But she’s great and it’s an honor to make this small book each year, documenting the incredible mothering job I get to witness day in and day out.
Thanks for following along,
If you know a dad or a new dad, share this with them! They’ll appreciate it, I promise.
Keep up the good work and have a great week.
Alec
most everything was cancelled in 2020, but not motherhood. absolute gold
The best! So thoughtful