Dear driver,

An open letter to an enemy that I shouldn't write but here we are

Hi there! It’s me, Alec McNayr, in your Friday morning inbox. Here’s something decidedly unserious for you.

Before we get there, I have my big storytelling and comedy show this weekend — the Westside Story Club — on stage here in Los Angeles. The line-up is SO GOOD — including six Moth winners(!!!!!!), a top comedy Substack writer, a first-timer, and ME!

I have a few more tickets available, and I’m oh-so thirsty for a sell-out, so I have a discount for you, if you’re on the fence:

---

Dear driver,

Dear driver who bypasses everyone and cuts into the freeway off-ramp at the last second:

You think you’re better than me, but lo, you are mistaken!

For it is I, through my morals and civic-mindedness, evidenced by waiting patiently in this line, who is better than you!

If only you could redirect a morsel of your ignorant, self-serving courage toward good for the common man, like I do every day with my private conversations and social posts!

Wars, ended. Droughts, washed away. Hunger, begone!

If only you knew the people you’re bypassing! Most people would weep from the human decency you’d witness! But not you!

So unlimited is your hubris that it could heal the universe, and/or consume my thoughts for the next 17 minutes! Brother, I had to rewind my podcast because of my rage coma! That’s just how powerful you ARE!

Enjoy your precious extra seconds at whatever appointment you’re late to. I sincerely, sincerely hope it’s a doctor’s appointment to assess the size, shape, and chemical makeup of a very uncomfortable hemorrhoid.

I’ll be here a couple more minutes, savoring the slowdown caused by you—and a parade of your colleagues—who think “cuts, butts, and coconuts” are things to accumulate, not avoid.

But never mind me, I’ll just be here reading the Bible, donating to GoFundMes, and salving my growing ulcer.

You do you! Burn rubber, friend!

Love,

— The very polite rage monster 17 cars back in the unassuming 2015 grey Honda Pilot.

P.S., you’re ugly.

---

Thanks for reading. Give a shout if this is you.

Four random things to follow:

1. I just got cast in a storytelling show on Wednesday, October 15th in Hollywood. BUT, I had bought two tickets to see Jimmy Carr that night at the Wiltern. Let me know if you want the tickets!

2. I love Transformers. I still have all my old childhood Transformers (thanks Mom!). They are engineering marvels. Today’s versions advertise that they can be “transformed” in one move. And that. Just. Sucks.

3. For real, come to the show on Sunday if you’re around. It will be so, so good.

4. There’s nothing funnier to me than to hear celebrity podcast hosts explain how they are earnestly considering renting their house out on Airbnb while they’re on vacation.

Have a great weekend!

Alec