I am who I say I am

How I'm changing who I think I am in new spaces and with new faces.

I’m sitting at a resort, having woken up an hour before my family and snuck down to the poolside restaurant.

And I’ve asked myself, “What do I have to share with you? What is happening with me these days that feels worth sharing?”

This is a struggle for me. More than I think it should be.

I’d say I’m wrestling with my relationship with identity.

Who I say I am and how I think the world around me wants to define me.

For a long time, I’d introduce myself as one of the founders of McBeard, one of the first-ever social media agencies. It was a group of people and an era of creative work I was proud of (still am!), but mostly, it was a success story, and as an Enneagram 3 (“The Achiever!”), that felt great.

But McBeard hasn’t existed for the better part of a decade.

For a while, I thought I was an entrepreneurial genius (after all, I did grow McBeard from zero to acquired!).

So I bought books on startup investing and made small angel investments in 100 companies. After the last few years’ economy, I may lose most of that money (don’t tell Katie!). Also, I bought NFTs. So maybe I’m not an investment genius.

But I do love storytelling — maybe that’s the part of marketing I always liked the best. I’ve built a mighty little consulting company called Spotlight, and I love the team I have assembled there. We’re not aspiring to achieve greatness, but we do aspire to BE great. I can spot the difference there.

Rediscovering a love for creative storytelling has meant mining my life and experiences for material, which feels right in line with who I’ve always been — from writing an original play for the 4th grade talent show to studying Shakespeare in London.

But mostly, it’s been about showing up in new spaces, like a new kid at school.

I’ve shown up at storytelling events like The Moth and comedy open mic nights, and after telling the world that I’m a storyteller—or even a comedian(!)—I’ve realized this:

If you show up and say who you are again and again, people will eventually believe you.

Two years ago, I didn’t have any (recent) experience, and now, I was just asked to be a part of a backyard storytelling show, featuring hosts of other storytelling shows around town (that’s me!).

(PS - If you’d like to come to that show with me next week—in mid-city LA—hit me up.)

It’s also changed how my friends and family see me.

I was at a Moth show a few weeks ago, and Katie texted me this from my 9yo daughter, who made this paper for “Special Grown-Up” week, which they do instead of celebrating Father’s Day (which I get, but have mixed feelings about).

Wow. Comedian.

She nails it, across the board. The Beths. Laurel Grill (haha) in Culver City.

And if you don’t know, I’m allergic to all dairy. Always have been. This is real:

More than anything, and despite this entire writing being about what I’m DOING, I think I’m finding solace in BEING more myself, and not having to DO anything to earn the identity I think I want.

That I’m slowly, surely, becoming who I say I am.

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A few bonus thoughts:

Westside Story Club: Show #2

I did it. Another sold-out Westside Story Club show. It was me and nine storytellers and comedians. It was a blast, and many attendees have told me that it was the best one yet.

And fresh off the presses(?), here’s the recap video:

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Bonus: Nate Bargatze Sucks

At my worst, I play the comparison game with people who are nearly the same age as me, and have achieved more than I think I have. We all do this right? RIGHT?!?

And Nate Bargatze is near the top of this list. But I found this clip of him from 16 years ago on Late Night with Conan O’Brien… and it’s not nearly as good as the guy we know today. Okay, maybe “sucks” is too strong… I mean, he DID get on the show. But it’s amazing to me how you can see the kernel of the comedy style I know today, but it’s not nearly as refined.

And it makes me realize how much growth happens over time. And that I hope that the speaking style I have today is a kernel of something that will eventually be recognized as great, and undeniably me.

No way that’s the same guy

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As always, thanks for following along.

Give a shout in the comments or just hit reply. I need love the feedback.

-Alec