The art of embracing rejection
Everything in me hates rejection, but maybe I've been missing the point.
This week, I got rejected from a storytelling show in Burbank.
I found the show online a few weeks back on TheFacebook after friending a few people I’ve met while performing at The Moth LA storytelling events. They were looking for “Dad story” submissions for their upcoming Father’s-Day-adjacent show in June.
Sidebar — When was the last time you ADDED friends on Facebook? I had plateaued for years.
I submitted my "Trip to the ER” story, including notes for the stage and a sample audio recording.
I was sure I would get the invite. Of course I would!
I am SO talented.
The person making the decision had JUST seen my most recent Moth performance. Check and check.
But instead I got a very nice “thanks but no thanks” email. Very nice. But a “no” nonetheless.
For a minute, I considered being a jerk about it.
“Forget these guys!”
“You don’t know what you’re missing!”
But I remembered two things:
Steve Martin’s Born Standing Up book can be summed up in one sentence: “Be so good they can’t ignore you.”
Do the Work. It doesn’t matter what happens. Do the work.
I have to admit that I am not good enough. I cannot not be ignored. I was just very much ignored.
Here’s the rub, though:
I am pretty good at a lot of things. I can pick up 60-70% of a skill pretty quickly. Most of my career, I’ve picked up new talents by reading a book, then moving forward with unreasonable confidence. Web design, graphic design, creative strategy, leadership, accounting document-reading.
And I’ve had a pretty good run.
Maybe too good.
Built a company and a reputation for being smart and creative.
I find myself a little too tied to this image of success.
Gotta let people know that I’m a successful businessman, creative genius and a brilliant investor, even when it’s not all true (I have some NFTs to sell you).
Like my grandma might have said with a mix of Texas charm and judgment, “I’m too big for my own britches.”
Forget the banks, I’m too big to fail.
But I shouldn’t be.
So, one of the reasons I’m putting myself out there — and getting up on stage — is to experience the challenge of being rejected.
To rediscover the humility of a beginner.
To work toward mastery.
If I’m not being rejected, am I even trying something new?
If I’m not risking something, am I doomed to comfort?
I don’t want that. No one does, really.
The comfort of “success” comes with a price.
Call it “losing the hunger.” Call it the easy path. Call it embracing the safe.
I’m finally ready to embrace the rejection.
Two more reminders
And as if the universe conspired to teach me a lesson for even CONSIDERING being mean about rejection, I discovered two more little reminders.
Author James Clear does a simple weekly newsletter
Check out this week’s entry:
And:
I’m reading Noah Kagan’s great book Million Dollar Weekend, which begins with an entire chapter devoted to “developing an Ask muscle” and embracing rejection:
“Rejection Goals”??????
Can you imagine it?
I’m embracing the rejection.
And if I can do it, so can you.
How do you handle rejection?
Some embarrassing self-promotion:
I’m writing this at 195 subscribers and would love to hit 200.
If you know five friends who would like to follow along my journey of creativity, leadership, comedy, and self-discovery, please let them know.
Or you can send to five loathsome enemies.
Or you can make five new Hotmail accounts. They’re still free.
Thanks — see you next week.
I wrote a screenplay I thought was the best dam thing I’ve ever written. It was about two warring chiropractors. I have never gotten more rejections and no place in screenplay contests. Luckily I was hardened by just having been rejected by 100s of jobs for like… barista etc.
I mean, embracing rejection is truly a terrific growth experience and all, but, honestly, I wouldn't mind a teensy bit of acceptance every now and then.