"Not Today, Satan Robot!"
Hmmmmm... I've seen these Tesla robots before, but I can't put my finger on it...
Welp, we’ve lost our minds.
Elon Musk dropped by a robotics conference last night to unveil Tesla’s latest robot, dubbed “Tesla Optimus.”
Get it, Auto-bots? Nope, let’s not roll out. Let’s roll this BACK.
The Optimus robots can walk, talk, grab, dance, strangle, and more!
I showed these to my wife via text, and she simply wrote back:
That just about sums it up.
Which future will we get?
From the presentation:
“As you can see, we started with someone in a robot suit, and then we've progressed dramatically year after year, so if you extrapolate this you're really gonna have something spectacular. Something that anyone could own. You can have your own personal R2D2 or C-3PO.”
Except we’ve seen this story before.
Many, many times.
And it’s not always British accents and beeps and boops.
I know I’ve written about how great a driverless Waymo is, but somehow, this is a bridge too far.
Whether it was Mitchells vs. The Machines:
Or the backstory of The Matrix (The Animatrix):
Or the murderous Sunny in iRobot:
Or any part of Robocop:
This.
Doesn’t.
End.
Well.
Seems like progress is marching on, whether we like it or not.
I’m trying real hard to not clutch my pearls but WOW.
On a scale from 1 to PANIC, how are you feeling about this?
Hope you enjoyed (or are now researching underground bunkers… you’re welcome).
Wrote this from my third personal mountaintop writing retreat. Here’s how I set up my second one a year ago, if you’re curious.
I also finished a satire piece and submitted to McSweeneys, wrote a second satire piece, and started a third. After last week’s Caitlin Clark salary piece, that feels like a trend.
Side note: here’s my favorite McSweeney’s post of all time: On the Implausibility of the Death Star’s Trash Compactor.
I mostly detoxed from my phone and the internet, but I did watch some things:
Ellen’s new Netflix special For Your Approval. Fantastic.
Nate Bargatze’s 2nd SNL ep — the golf short was the best of the show.
And I finally watched The Holdovers. Top tier eye-acting from Paul Giamatti.
Have a great weekend!
Alec
I've asked some of my Comp Sci and Science teacher friends the following question. Are we closer to Wall-E or The Terminator? Personally, neither is particularly desirable.
Very much appreciated the comedic tone here. More I think about this the more fired up I get. Helps to laugh about it.